There's no denying that i still fond you.

but you're probably reading a book under a tree somewhere in my mind.

and you've just finished you're chapter of me.

I guess thats whats left of my feelings that i feel in this song.

and what i learned here is that the more u accept the less of the pain.

im gonna close the book and i want to leave it that way.

goodnight

source : Youtube

Jojo - Disaster

Stephanie Friends Lyric

onaji egao shiteta sonna bokura mo ikunen wo kasanesugite surechigau keshiki wo ukeirerarezu ni mogaiteru

While we wore the same smiles, We passed through the years together. The sceneries kept changing, And we struggled to accept it.

muda na puraido sutesari kono sekai ni yasashisa wo

I throw away my useless pride. May kindness come to this world.

I Gotta Say yuuki wo misetsukete mo tsuyogatte mo hitori dewa ikirarenai ano hi no yakusoku nara kokoro no fukaku ni nokotteiru yo ima demo

I Gotta Say Even if I show off my bravery and my strength, I can't survive alone. Our promise from that day, It remains firmly in my heart, even now.

wakarete mata deai arata na michi ni hikari mitsuke arukidasu umarete kara zutto kurikaesu koto de tsunagatteku

New encounters come after each farewell. I find light down a new path, and move on. Since the day I was born, That has been the way my life is molded.

itsunoma ni kimi to boku mo sorezore mirai wo te ni shite

Before we realized it, We have both found our own futures.

I Gotta Say tooku hanareteite mo aenakute mo tsuyoi kizuna wa aru kara "yume ga kanaimasu youni" kokoro no soko kara inotteiru yo We're friends forever mata au koto wo chikai yubikiri shite bokura wa arukidashita ne mienai ikisaki eto mayoinagara demo susundeiru yo itsudemo

I Gotta Say Even if you are far away where I can't meet you, There's a resilient bond between us. "May my dreams come true." I am praying from the bottom of my heart. We're friends forever. We pledged to meet again someday, Crossed our little fingers, And set out that day, For unseen destinations, And though we may be lost, We are making progress, Always.

kawariyuku kisetsu to toki no naka natsukashii melodies otona ni natte mo iroase wa shinai yo bokutachi no precious memories

Through the changing seasons, And this fleeting moment, I listen to these nostalgic melodies. Even when I become an adult, Some things won't fade, Like our precious memories.

I Gotta Say yuuki wo misetsukete mo tsuyogatte mo hitori dewa ikirarenai ano hi no yakusoku nara kokoro no fukaku ni nokotteiru yo

I Gotta Say Even if I show off my bravery and my strength, I can't survive alone. Our promise from that day, It remains firmly in my heart.

As life goes on... wasurecha ikenai kara Yeah Don't let it go... kono hiroi daichi to nakama-tachi no koto

As life goes on... I mustn't forget, yeah. Don't let it go... I remember this vast land and my friends.

Here's the snipet from where it was famous from

Source: Youtube

an awesome cover to my favourite song

You

Here i am

4500 miles away from home

At a time where i was lost with myself, no loved ones was near and willing to touch me

until i met you.

i dont know how to tell my feelings to you,

but you showed me kindness and acceptance like no one ever did back there.

and you helped me to raise to my feet and be who i am.

different from everyone but still me.

i dont know what this feelings is,

probably its my mind playing with me.

but i definitely feels something.

I wanna know you more

and i hope you and me can get over our challenges here together

and be very close

Here's a thought

It came to my realization.

Some moments are designed to be shared.

The rest of the time its just worth to contemplate that some thoughts are just best kept within

yeah

Well, its been well past 24 hours since the breakup occurred.
and quite bluntly, a void is there. At this point a lot of things goes through my mind.

'wow, i feel depressed and compressed inside because there's no more room/person that i can share my daily grief,tears and joy' 'why did she pulled the trigger?' 'i dont think she wanted too, i think its high possibly outside interference' 'should i confront her?'

the last question keeps ringing in my head, the breakup occurred over whatsapp message.
she requested to have a civilized, decent conversation to give me the news but i evade the inevitable. Having pressured from people around her or maybe even from her own innerself (from my analysis), she quickly announce 'from the recent events that occurred, this has to stop and i realized that i have to let go' is it a crypted message? maybe its in my head.

But the fact is, I haven't spoken to her in what felt like years so i wouldn't have any clue what really happen. She maybe had her hand forcefully played on her behalf with she quite honestly wouldn't want and now she's dying alone.

Honey, I miss my pet. The way we had our moment then you disappear for months and then coming back to love me intrigues me. Im convinced that you still have that fire and desire in you for us when you replied that whatsapp message over the weekend but something happened so you had to keep it low and tell me what you said.

we will be together. you will return to me.

dont ever forget i know you.im the only person that knows your beating heart. with monica's angel of mine playing in the back, you only have the drive and desire for me no matter how far you run from me, deep down late at night you desire for me. only

its over. Assumption came true.

Hello.

i figured i should write this non-presumptionly though it has been guessed from a mile trajectory. Some people call it self-reflection, some people call it impulse writing but i wanted to take note of this situation at the very moment as it happen as how i want it to be. An Individual.

Playing over FrankMusik's No I.D., yeah it happen over a very weird day. Its a fact me and her has no more relations whatsoever strictly words speaking. But make no mistake, i still and forever will have a fond spot for her. Im not sad but just that now there's no more person that i could speak too. There's no more person i could have a decent conversation with and with her, there's a space between us that we could talk about anything we want.

The end started over a span of this week when i received a whatsapp message from her gingerly playing with me. it was a glimpse of hope. But after months of her being quiet and not respond to any of my messages, i was ecstatic and couldn't believe it. Deep inside of my mind, I figured she evaded me on numerous occasion for a reason. A reason that both of us knew. But it doesn't giver her right to not talk to me. At all..  

That was on the weekend, sunday I think..then I decided since she wasn't going to respond again so i cooked up a scheme to call her 1 time a day over the week to know if it was her or someone else. the plan was on course but i think she couldn't take my FB jab and the numerous call i did on wednesday, i send her short ' good morning', 'good night' message on Thursday then she replied saying 'we need to talk' on 4:30am (around morning, dont remember the exact but it was early), it set the mood i was in for the whole day, worried, sad, wishful...it was surreal on my end. it was like a self-prophecy coming true.

And then it did..