Well, its been well past 24 hours since the breakup occurred.
and quite bluntly, a void is there. At this point a lot of things goes through my mind.

'wow, i feel depressed and compressed inside because there's no more room/person that i can share my daily grief,tears and joy' 'why did she pulled the trigger?' 'i dont think she wanted too, i think its high possibly outside interference' 'should i confront her?'

the last question keeps ringing in my head, the breakup occurred over whatsapp message.
she requested to have a civilized, decent conversation to give me the news but i evade the inevitable. Having pressured from people around her or maybe even from her own innerself (from my analysis), she quickly announce 'from the recent events that occurred, this has to stop and i realized that i have to let go' is it a crypted message? maybe its in my head.

But the fact is, I haven't spoken to her in what felt like years so i wouldn't have any clue what really happen. She maybe had her hand forcefully played on her behalf with she quite honestly wouldn't want and now she's dying alone.

Honey, I miss my pet. The way we had our moment then you disappear for months and then coming back to love me intrigues me. Im convinced that you still have that fire and desire in you for us when you replied that whatsapp message over the weekend but something happened so you had to keep it low and tell me what you said.

we will be together. you will return to me.

dont ever forget i know you.im the only person that knows your beating heart. with monica's angel of mine playing in the back, you only have the drive and desire for me no matter how far you run from me, deep down late at night you desire for me. only

its over. Assumption came true.

Hello.

i figured i should write this non-presumptionly though it has been guessed from a mile trajectory. Some people call it self-reflection, some people call it impulse writing but i wanted to take note of this situation at the very moment as it happen as how i want it to be. An Individual.

Playing over FrankMusik's No I.D., yeah it happen over a very weird day. Its a fact me and her has no more relations whatsoever strictly words speaking. But make no mistake, i still and forever will have a fond spot for her. Im not sad but just that now there's no more person that i could speak too. There's no more person i could have a decent conversation with and with her, there's a space between us that we could talk about anything we want.

The end started over a span of this week when i received a whatsapp message from her gingerly playing with me. it was a glimpse of hope. But after months of her being quiet and not respond to any of my messages, i was ecstatic and couldn't believe it. Deep inside of my mind, I figured she evaded me on numerous occasion for a reason. A reason that both of us knew. But it doesn't giver her right to not talk to me. At all..  

That was on the weekend, sunday I think..then I decided since she wasn't going to respond again so i cooked up a scheme to call her 1 time a day over the week to know if it was her or someone else. the plan was on course but i think she couldn't take my FB jab and the numerous call i did on wednesday, i send her short ' good morning', 'good night' message on Thursday then she replied saying 'we need to talk' on 4:30am (around morning, dont remember the exact but it was early), it set the mood i was in for the whole day, worried, sad, wishful...it was surreal on my end. it was like a self-prophecy coming true.

And then it did..